DANNY'S CROSS

“I already told you I didn’t want a steady gig, I just wanted a fling, and a fling I have got. I don’t know why you are over the top about this, Adannne”. “Adanne” he usually called her, when he was about to be stone cold blatant. As usual, after an overheated argument, Nosa stormed out of the room forgetting to grab his keys, leaving a bewildered Danny  to decipher a recurring, impenetrable code. She needed no soothsayer to tell her that he was gone, another abrupt exit, one she had experienced too many times.

It was funny how she could handle the break ups, and the fact that it sunk her self esteem to the down so low, it had probably surpassed rock bottom.  Her best friend Jack Daniels had always ensured she was up and back in her business of running her fashion empire she had built in her early twenties, when she was still a student of the University of Lagos; just two glasses, and she has downed her innermost sorrow and pain. She could also deal with the fact that she might end up living alone with her cat for the rest of her life.  However, her Achilles heel, her only source of worry was her mother. She could already envision her mother’s lackluster attitude to her pain, and her concern that Adanne might never be a bride. But that day, she braced herself for the “You have just decided that I won’t call my friends to wear “Asoebi” speech”. 

Looking at Danny, one would imagine she never lacked attention from the male folk. She was a beauty to behold, from her perfect hour glass shaped body, to her crimson red upper lip, and her nicely shaped nose, like it was perfectly carved by a sculptor. As she walked, her beauty had to be stared at thrice, to be assimilated in.  It was a wonder in disbelief, when she repeatedly stated that she was always single. In the minds of many-a people, she must have very high tastes and standards and was probably looking for “the one”, and by the one, it meant the only one of his kind, which was near impossible.

Nosa  was her sixth break up in four years, and that wasn’t very pleasant.  She could vividly remember their first meet. They were both grocery shopping in Taiwo Supermarket., Ire Akari Road, Isolo, and they exchanged glances.  As she walked out of the supermarket, he was already seated in his SUV, waiting for her to pass by. As if the universe was on his side, she didn’t bring her car to the supermarket.  “Mind if I drop you off?” he said, typically.  One look at him, and she decided to throw caution to the wind.  They chatted away, like they had met in previous lives, and forever was pre-planned. In days, they were an item……….or so she thought……………….

……………………….Oh yes, did she think! Probably because Nosa never exactly asked for a relationship, or probably because the “relationship” ended before it actually began. How did it all begin? Was it impulsive and aggressive behavior she exhibited, anytime they disagreed on an issue as irrelevant as the better playing team in an English Club Match; he was a  die-hard Chelsea fan ,while she was a cheer leader for Real Madrid. The last one  ended with one of his prized glass tables broken. Even though she apologized, he never forgot.  It had to be the constant call hounding, when he was in meetings, and couldn’t come to his phone. Even after telling her beforehand that he might be unavailable to the calls kept coming, non-stop.  Times without number she would tell him of her severe dissociative feelings, and her intention to commit suicide, for every grave mistake she made. Although he never really saw her hold a knife to kill herself, he knew it was only a matter of time before it happened.

For how long was this going to happen? When was she ever going to get it right with men? It was a trail; she meets them, they bond, and the ultimate: they break. No matter how she tried, she never got it right. And for the life of her, she never knew why.

At first she sought spiritual help, many thanks to her mother, who had longed believed that the only reason why her beautiful daughter was unmarried at the age of 27 was because some unforeseen spiritual forces were behind it. They had gone from the white garment church, to the purple garment ones. They had sought mediums, prayed, fasted, and had done everything possible to get to the root cause of her predicament, yet, there were no answers.

Her Eureka moment hit her in the bath tub, as she showered on a hot Saturday afternoon. Weren’t these episodes all too familiar? Victor took to his heels, because of her very random mood swings he couldn’t deal with. In Adedayo’s case, he left her a week to her wedding, because for every second of their two year relationship, she always accused him that he would abandon her for someone else, even when he constantly re- assured her that there was nothing to worry about.  Every end to her almost happily ever after, brought about a new vice that was alien to her. However, as she poured water over her body to wash away the soap suds, everything began to make sense to her; her unstable relationships, her constant struggle with her identity and her frequent loss of self. Without further thoughts, she picked up her bag, and headed towards Boyle Medical Clinic, Isolo.

 Apparently, Danny’s cross was Borderline Personality Disorder.