MY NAME IS................................

I used to have one funky bobo like that. I  call him Asuquo, my Akwa Ibom Hottie. Asuquo was your Y2K compliant suave. He was eloquent, funny and confident, you know, my dating trio-factor.  So Baebae and I were on one of those romantic nights on Westown Rooftop , Ikeja, during our early dating days  (mehn, those guys do chicken and chips wella), all dreamy eyed  and lovey dovey (ain't no love like new love!). Out of the blues, I  asked him “Asuquo what is the meaning of your name? Asuquo  was 38 at the time. Nna, dude dropped his fork, and stared at me in a way that reminded me of Bishop Imeh, when he wants to act stupid.  He just said “Amaka, do you know I don’t know what my name means? Jesu Oluwa O! So I have been dating a non entity! ( and I don't mean that in a bad way o). Honestly, that was a deal breaker for me, call me paranoid. So he might as well bear “syphilis” or “gonorrhea”, simply because he doesn’t know the meaning. Thereafter, I saw him in a different light.  Like, if you don’t know the meaning of your name, how can you be serious with life? I don even forget say he was still living with his parents at the time (No wonder).  I googled his name later, apparently it means “patience”, in my opinion, an unsuitable name for him.  In my own case, I speak my name in every situation, good or bad. My beautiful names are Chiamaka, Chidinma and Anthonia. Chiamaka and Chidinma mean the same: God is good, while Anthonia means: highly praise worthy. When I am down and out, I always remember that God remains the same good God, regardless of my situation. So I don’t fret about a situation,  more than I can handle and I praise more when I hurt.  Thankfully, it always works.  Don’t get me wrong, I wasn’t particularly angry at my Akwa Ibom hottie because he didn’t know what his name meant, I was more particular about him assuming a identity he knew absolutely nothing about, and not taking responsibility to finding out that his name meant.  As in , he couldn't even google his name. Omo, I take off o, before the bobo go wake up one day, talk say him no know me ( lol, I’m just kidding). But it obviously raised a lot of questions about him.  What does your name mean to you?

So I figured, amidst yarning story story, I could also release a piece of me. its just me yarning, blabbing, letting myself, the best way I can. in my book, there are no rules, just saying it as it is. here's to me.........................................

REVENGE, BEST SERVED COLD HOT- THE CANKER-WORM RELEASE

Jane had always had a crush on Chinonso, but concealed that fact, with painstaking efforts. She resented the attention he showered on Chinenye, and was secretly happy that he cheated on her;in that, breaking previous bonds between them. Regrettably, Chinonso was not attracted to fat ladies, and that was a huge minus for her. At first, she jokingly advised Nenye to have a baby with him, with the consolation that her piety would discourage the thought.Considering a conception had taken place, she was not about to let the opportunity of a rendezvous with him slip away, again.

"Surprise, surprise", Chinonso exclaimed, as he ushered her into his living room. As they embraced, she took in his Burberry cologne  and stayed glued to his body, like a puzzle perfect fit. He moved towards his convenience bar to get drinks, while she wandered through his mini-library, as tidy as she had remembered his cubicle in the university. There was a beautiful contrast between his orange-coloured sofa and the dark brown cushions, a theme, Jane would replicate in her own home. On his centre table, was a framed photo of him and a very pretty lady; probably his latest flame, she assumed. She took a good look at her full figure, clad in a Karen Miller vintage gown, and decided she was pretty in her own right, even if she was no match to the girl in the frame. The die was cast, and it was the right time to strike.
"Chinonso, I knew you slept with Chinenye",She blurted out. The tray containing a bottle of Baron De Valis and two wine glasses fell thunderously from Chinonso's hands, leaving him gasping in shock. Jane, unperturbed  by the mishap, continued. "She is 2 months pregnant, and she intends keeping the baby. Of course she couldn't think of an oblivious and willing party to her plan. My task for you is to prevent her from coming back". If the grounds could open, Chinonso would have disappeared, at that moment. "Jennifer, what do you want?" he interrogated.  She pranced about  the living room and back and eventually sat beside him. As she ran her fingers across his arm, she felt his raw tension. In his confused state, she still wanted to do the things she planned to do. Things that couldn't be spoken or written. She continued "I want a partnership, a business deal. You are going to have sex with me on the regular, in exchange for silence on everything. That is the reason I am here, to discuss our value proposition". Chinonso was dumbfounded, so much so, he didn't notice when she left. On one hand, he was excited at the thought of being the father of Chinenye's child. On the other hand, he was angry at her.  Why wouldn't she come to him willingly? Even if she dropped the bombshell on him, he had a right to deciding if he wanted to tread that route. Chinenye had always made the wrong choice of friends, and he had decried frequently at her tardy choice. At the thought of sleeping with Jane, he gulped down the eighth bottle of Gulder, on the table.



It was a lovely Christmas day, and Nenye was resting on the long sofa on the living room, munching on a piece of chicken and cracking jokes with her mother-in-law.  Who would have thought that the day would come? Their bonding moment was interrupted by Uwem's loud entrance, obviously disturbed by the cheer in the environment. He reached out for the TV remote, just about the same time her hands were stretched, but forcefully snatched it from her hands. Mrs. Ekpo, caught the friction between them and acted immediately.
"Uwem, you have been hostile towards your wife, ever since she got pregnant. I have noticed, but I think it is about time I said my mind. Do you want to lose this baby? Your wife has been complaining about your lack lustre attitude. She should be the one with the mood swings, not you".
Uwem mumbled some incoherent words, as he sat on a close by chair, to watch the match on TV, clearly showing he wasn't interested in continuing the conversation. Immediately, Nenye left for the bathroom. As she wiped the last traces of urine, she chuckled at her mother-in-law's defence.  She was loving every minute of the experience, and vowed to get pregnant more often, so that she would get this princess treatment on the regular.  This part of her life, she watched in some random home video. In her wildest imagination, she never imagined she would end up so low. She was still dissecting her thoughts, when Uwem barged into the bathroom and dragged her out.
"Say it to my face, so that we can stop this pretence. Whose baby is this? We have not had sex in months, Chinenye. Pray tell, whose baby is this? She thought about lying on the spot, as she recounted the events of the past week; Jane's betrayal, Chinonso's confrontation and the call she made to the Olive Hospital Board, she decided to let the cat out of the bag. She stood up to him, faced eye to eye and blurted out, without holding back." You are right, Uwem. This could never be your baby, and you know it. You think you could hide this from me? You held my life down for six years. You kept your dark secret, letting your family insult me when all along, you were the empty one. So yes, Uwem, this is Chinonso's baby. He/she is going to be an Ekpo". She paused to laugh in a loud, hollow tone, as she drew the utility hammer that was resting on the dressing table closer to her, just in case he struck.  However, the reaction she got from him was not in the plot.
"Nenye, you are free to walk away, get the divorce you always wanted. I can deal with raising a child that is not mine, but I can't  continue living  with you, Chinenye". Suddenly, the strength to converse further, failed him. Thereupon,Chinenye was convinced she had got him at the balls." You would live with me. Together, we would raise this child, and subsequent children to come. Either that, or I go out and tell your mother everything. Then, and only then, would I leave". In the heat of the moment, she pushed him violently, with an intention of slamming him onto the hard floor. Luckily, he missed his spot and landed on the soft bed. She looked at him in disdain, at the face she once loved, and continued. "I have reported Dr. Tayo to the hospital board, so you know he is going to jail. You on the other hand, will be confronted with the consequences of your actions, on a daily basis".

Uwem crawled towards her as she headed towards the door,holding her arm  in a manner that could be compared to the  desperate attempt  by  the woman with hemorrhage,as she  touched Jesus' Cloak."Nenye, please I beg you. Let us think of another suitable solution. Please". Nenye looked at Uwem. For a change, it was nice to see Uwem beg, like he depended on her for breath. Seeing him in his weakness, it was apparent that all the love they ever shared, was lost. To  discharge him, an abrupt verdict had to be reached.
"I would let you go, but only I after I have had three children. You will be responsible for their upkeep and sundry, certainly. We will keep up with this marriage facade, till we part, but I am not divorcing you, so you know. I am only agreeing to separation. That way, you don't go marrying someone else. Now if you would excuse me, I need to see to the catering of my guests arriving later today"

All had gone as planned.  She had threatened to reveal the truth to Ebere, Chinonso's betrothed, should he not comply with her proposal of having two more children from him. This was to fulfill her intention of having her children, by one man. Her last port of call, was to inform Kennedy, Jane's husband, that the children he held dear, were for another. Only then, would she seal the lid of her terror bank.

REVENGE, BEST SERVED COLD HOT- CHAIN REACTION

Christmas was around the corner, but unlike previous Christmases , Nenye was anxiously preparing for this one. The day before, she bought ingredients for five different kinds of soups, at the request of her mother in law, and Nenye was looking forward to being spoilt by her.  Ever since she announced her pregnancy, her mother-in-law had metamorphosed, from the overbearing pain she had been, to the doting mother she never had. All she had to do was ask and all household chores were handled, effortlessly. Suddenly the world was her oyster, and because of the child she carried, she could practically do anything she wanted to. as she

Only Uwem seemed to be astir  with her happy state and he did not fail to show  his indifference at her protruding tummy. Earlier, her mother-in-law had gone to see her sister in Rumuola, so she was home in good time to catch a nap, before assisting her in the kitchen with the soups to be prepared, but surprisingly, she met Uwem waiting for her, in the sitting room. Immediately he saw her, he said “Chinenye, I need to talk to you”. She hurriedly dropped off the groceries on the kitchen cabinet, and sat on the largest sofa in the sitting room, unemotionally.

“I am truly happy that you are pregnant, but how possible”, he shook his head, continuously.“How possible? Do miracles happen so suddenly? You mean after five years of childlessness, one wakes up…..pregnant?” she stared blankly, at the face of deceit, the same face she loved, once. “Uwem, yes, yes” she stressed, holding his hands in a firm grip”, yes it happens. Where is your faith?  Don’t be worried for me. I will be fine” she lowered her gaze to meet his. “We will be fine”. 

“Then I suggest we visit Dr. Tayo, together, to run one last test, just to be sure. At that moment,Nenye fought an urge to slap him in the face, but for her sister-in-law’s interjection from the adjacent room, as she made her way to the living room. “Uwem, let Nenye be, she needs all the rest she can get, and you know it’s her first”. As Nenye was led out in style, she turned back to look at her very confused husband. Thankfully, her innocent and meek front, concealed her inner revenge smirk. 

 

 

Nenye looked at the children prancing about the frontage of the Sweet Sensation centre in Trans Amadi Layout. Children are blessings, and she was excited about hers, as she briefly touched her growing tummy, and yearned for the day her kids would prance with the same energy. She was so elated at the thought, that she didn’t hear Dr. Tayo slide in next to her. As usual, he looked the dapper gent, on a white casual shirt, denim, and actual Gucci shoes, not the imitation likes of the social mongers in Port Harcourt. She blurted.
 “Dr. Tayo, my husband and I are coming to see you on Monday. You are going to convince him that I am carrying his baby, and that whatever medication you prescribed to him, worked. Of course he would counter-argue, but you would reassure him that it might have been an error in diagnosis".
Dr.Tayo gasped in shock at the revelation that the pregnancy revelation.
“Chinenye, I can’t do that. I have done enough damage, as it is. What you are asking me to do is impossible. You want me to……………”

“Yes, I want you to lie, Dr. Tayo.” Nenye interrupted, as she stood up to leave. 
She looked around, to confirm that she wasn’t creating a scene, and bent lowly to whisper to his ear.  “You will do as I say, or be prepared to bear the consequences when I tell the Managing Director of Olive Hospital, that their best doctor broke his professional code of ethics, and ruined a home in the process. You don’t want your practicing license revoked, do you? “. She tapped him on the back and walked away.  Almost immediately, Dr. Tayo ran after her.” Nenye, it has been lies after lies.I know I was wrong.” Nenye looked at him in disgust, as the sweat on his cheek, ran though her blouse. He continued. “Don’t correct a wrong with another. Be the better person.”  Unfortunately for him, Nenye’s mind was  made up.” I’ll see you on Monday, Dr. Tayo”.  

 

Grocery shopping was a chore Nenye always looked forward to, partly because such days, she had the luxury of catching up with Jane, her bosom friend and confidant. So strong was their bond, that a one night stand with Chinonso prior to their meet couldn’t break their friendship. After shopping, they usually met up for pizza and Ice-cream and caught up on the latest events.

 “How’s my God Daughter kicking?”, Jane asked, as she stuffed  pizza in her mouth.

“I don’t know why you think I’m having a girl”

“It’s a girl, you have THE glow, same one I had when I was pregnant for Ono. By the way, she says she’s coming over to yours next week”.

Following the pleasantries, was a deafening silence, indicating a switch to an important subject . Nenye broke the silence. 
“Dearest, I can’t thank you enough, for showing me the ropes to experiencing this happy, pregnant feeling. Trust me, suggesting that I sleep with Chinonso, tops all the advice you have ever given”. 
Jane glowered  at Nenye, when she wasn’t looking, but was swift enough to feign rapt concentration on a woman’s troublesome child at the next table, just as Nenye raised her head. 
 “Nenye, we didn’t have a choice, did we?  Uwem’s mother needed to be aware that you were not barren after all”.   
Nenye continued. “I am going to try out with Chinonso, at least two more times, once I drop this one. Menopause is starring me in the face”.

“Oh come on, you are just 30. You have all the time”. She looked again at Nenye, quizzically.
 “Are you resurrecting your feelings for Chinonso, young woman? Once, I agree, but thrice is one too many. You know how you love”.
Nenye, sensing disapproval from Jane, countered.” it’s too late to back down. Need I remind you of the length of time it took you convincing me to damn the world and have children?   I thought the point of suggesting I sleep with Chinonso, was to make it continuous? Anyways, whether or not you agree, I have my mind made up.  Abeg, let’s go”.

As they walked out of the eatery, Jane couldn’t help but stare at this new Nenye. If she didn’t know better, she’d assume her friend of decades, was a total stranger. Who killed Nenye and assumed her body? This was the same Nenye that frowned at adultery,in all shades. Marveling at Nenye’s newly acquired self- confidence, she wondered if she hadn’t given the wrong advice. 

Anyone passing the corridor that led to Dr. Tayo’s office would hardly believe that someone was inside, talk-less   a couple. The Ekpos were seated side by side, but their minds were far apart, with both of them dwelling on the consequences of their actions.  Dr. Tayo came in at the exact moment.  He wished for an eclipse of the moon that would last for a life time; that way, he would have avoided the piercing eyes of the couple, as well as subsequent confrontation. Typically, he cleared his throat.   
“Mr. Ekpo, there is no mistake that the child in your wife’s womb is yours.  I re-examined the test results, from your last visit, and compared it with your most recent results.”
 He brought out the results analysis and distributed to them, each.
"Mr. Ekpo, if you look at the results of the fructose level on both sheets, you would observe an impressive increase. The pomegranate diet you were placed on was able to destroy malondialdehyde in your bloodstream, and increased the fructose in your semen, needed for reproduction. At first, I was unsure, at least not until I consulted with my other colleagues, before I became certain. So congratulations  again.”
 However, Uwem looked unconvinced. At that juncture, he held his wife’s hands.
”So this situation is the norm, or our case is just exceptional?"He asked.   
Dr. Tayo struggled to gather  his words. “Sometimes, it happens.  But you know we shouldn’t be dwelling on this conversation. You both should be out there, baby shopping" he said, as he tried to dismiss the couple and Nenye, who was deliberately  silent all along, led them out.

Needless to say it was all over, Dr. Tayo concluded, as he breathe his first sigh of relief. He didn’t envision that he would be let off so easy. As he took to his seat, he wondered how he was caught up in the crossfire, and how he was ever going to get out of it. As he explored various action plans to subside the inferno, he didn’t notice Uwem come in. This time, there were no further questions. 
 “Tayo, we had a deal. In exchange for protecting my secret, I saved your practice license, and your job.   Now, we both know there is no way I can be a father to that child. If by any chance I discover you have been lying to me,  you would leave me with no choice but to inform the board on how you killed by cousin’s friend, by administering the dose of  Rocephine IV  while you treated his bacterial infection. ”

Eitherways, whether Dr.Tayo was able to convince Uwem of the certainty of the child’s paternity, or he doesn’t, he knew he  was screwed. (To be continued).

REVENGE, BEST SERVED COLD HOT

Christmas was around the corner, but unlike everyone else, Nenye was not preparing for the yuletide celebrations; matter-of-fact, she  dreaded the Christmas season  since her marriage to Uwem Ekpo, five  years ago. Nenye had long come to the conclusion that Uwem might not be the man she was destined to be with, ever since he stopped defending her cause whenever his mother and sister called her barren , even when several doctors had told them they had all the chances in the world to have babies. Wasn’t it pointless cooking for Christmas, when it was certain that her Mother-in-Law, Ima  Ekpo, who always visited them during the yuletide, would not eat  whatever she cooked, for fear of being “contaminated by her fruitlessness”?

As usual, Madam Ekpo was seated on the Fuschia sofa, next to the television, shaking her legs and hissing simultaneously, like the world was her foe, and she was set for a long battle with her. “Yes….yes o, she has come”, she screamed, as she sighted Nenye walk into the living room. “The baby-eating witch that has refused to leave my son.” Uwem looked away, and concentrated on the Tele Novella on TV, feigning oblivion of the brewing tension in the atmosphere. His only reaction was a short stare at her, and a shrug of despair, before proceeding to his bedroom. At that moment, Nenye could only imagine how unpleasant her Chistmas would be.

Many a time Nenye suggested adoption to her husband, who would not have it. According to him, adopting implied testing the waters and doubting God. She even went as far as requesting a divorce, so that he could marry someone else who would bear him the children he always wanted. Apparently, divorce was not an option for Uwem either. Through it all, Nenye remained steadfast, and carried her falling cross, without any grudge. However, her pain was always aggravated, in moments when Uwem couldn’t show his solidarity, by standing up to his family. If ever spilt milk could be scooped, she would have rejected Uwem’s marriage proposal, five years ago, and as her sixth wedding anniversary approached, her disposition remained the same. She most certainly had to get a new hobby, or perhaps, make a new friend, to distract her from the remainder of her marital years, and death couldn’t come sooner, to finally put an end to this facade of a marriage. Her thoughts ended abruptly, with the surprising call from her family doctor.

Amidst chats and pleasantries, Dr. Tayo, the Ekpo’s health consultant of years, cleared his throat and spoke in a baritone, that would have been sexy, but Nenye had to ignore, because of the already rising tension in the room.  “Mrs. Ekpo,  I have asked you to come because I thought to divulge some information, that might jeopardize my career as a doctor”, he sighed” I am about to break an ethical code of confidence , but I couldn’t live with myself if I didn’t. But first, I need to ask some questions. Has your husband had any important discussion with you lately?”  Nenye was composed enough to reply that he hadn’t, even when her whole body was already a whirlwind of emotions, her head reeling with incoherent thoughts, her heart racing, almost to her mouth and her twitched legs, hitting the floor, in a melodious rhythm. He looked at her face, which was riddled with fear, held her hands and blurted out” Your husband has a chromosome defect. Instead of the typical X and Y chromosomes, he has an additional X chromosome, which he was born with. Because of this chromosome abnormality, likelihood of him ever fathering a child is near impossible. There might be a ray of hope, if he judiciously comes for his treatments, when due” he stuttered” I told him…..I told him to tell you, that I could only protect him for so long, but I knew his ego and pride won’t let him”……The rest of his words were incoherent to Nenye, who had longed blanked out at “near impossible”. Uwemedimo Vincent Ekpo! The horror and pain she had endured for the past five years. Her first instinct was to pull out the pen knife in her bag, and shred Dr. Tayo to bits, but a flash of thought came to her. “Dr. Tayo” She called out in her most calm tone “please do me a favour. Do not let my husband know I have been informed. I would confront him in due time. You have been amazing at  keeping secrets”, she said, sarcastically “an additional one  shouldn’t be hard for you”. As she picked up her handbag to leave, she took a last look at his eyes, and mused subtlety, at the fear in them. Most certainly, she would deal with him, when the time was right.

Time, they say, heals all wounds, but for Nenye, time would be fast tracked, while she could. A fortnight after her visit to Dr. Tayo,she picked up her phone and scrolled to the C section on her contact list, in search of Chinonso’s number. Chinonso, but for his philandering ways, would have been her husband. Oh well, it was all wishful thinking when she caught him naked with her best friend, Bella, on his bed, on an unannounced visit. Thereafter, he had used all the words in the books, including intervention from family and a few close friends, but she had long signed off that road. However, one look at his perfectly sculpted nose and his crimson red lips that gave way to a set of sparkling teeth, as she stood at his front door explained why she stuck to him, even when she should have left him when the ovation was loudest.

 At first he expressed his shock at her presence, without his usual “leave your husband” begs, or the pleas to have at least, one rendezvous with him. However, he threw his mannerisms to the wind, when she slid her red Karen Miller vintage gown to the ground, revealing two rotund mounds on her chest, and a body to die for. In the heat of the moment, Chinonso reached his sexual peak, with a temporary quench to his insatiable thirst, while Nenye simultaneously moaned in satisfaction, that all would go well as planned. The timing of her August visit with her ovulation period couldn’t have been better. She was getting her revenge, to be dished out piping hot, ice cold. Inherent in a scorned woman lies an untapped reservoir of terror, begging to be unleashed, and Nenye was just about to show the Ekpo’s how filled-up, her terror bank was. (To be continued).

SUNRISE FROM THE WRONG SIDE OF THE BED

Iniye drove past the red traffic light on the very busy Ajose Adeogun road in Lagos State. According to a sub section of a section of a very annoying Nigerian constitution, she had just broken a traffic law, but she couldn’t be bothered. The CEO of Geoporte Oil and Gas in Lekki, Ajah had just called for a meeting, and she had to be seated at the CEO’s office by 1 p.m. It was 11. a.m, and looking at the already built gridlock on the major junction, she concluded that she was unlikely to get her one chance of reinforcing her company’s value proposition to Mr. CEO.

Amazingly, she was not discouraged by the pot-bellied policeman, popularly called Baba Faru, who flagged her vehicle down, and suggested a brain evaluation test at the spot, or by the nausea caused by the horrible stench from his police uniform, as he made his way into the passenger seat of her Toyota Corolla. It was the yell of a driver from a passing commercial bus that got to her, resurrecting her painful memories from the previous night that resulted into a morning of frustration.

“Madam please reverse, we are going to Alausa to test your brain, because only a mad human being can try this nonsense. Your own don end today”, the policeman bellowed, looking like he had just won a million naira stashed in a treasure box, and Iniye had a key to his prize. As she drove past the third mainland bridge, she thought about what the nosy driver had said to her. “Na woman”……”she be woman”, “Idiot, see as you drive like woman”……. Because she was a woman, she was told to give up civil engineering for business administration, because women do not gain employment in that field. She was made to marry Timipreye  Pepple at the age of twenty-two, against her wish, because according to her mother, time was no longer on her side, and she couldn’t give any achievement a name, until she was well settled in her martrimonial home. The weekly beatings she received from her husband every day, was enough reminder of how she should have stuck to her instincts, and refused vehemently. Most importantly, the fact that she was on a shitty 9-5 job as a sales representative of Zion Savings and Loans, so that she could save as much as she could, because her and her two daughters were not entitled to any of her husband’s properties, as females.

From his side glances at perhaps, a very angry woman, Baba Faru realized that he might not get his meal ticket from her. “Madam, I neva chop since morning. Find me 1,000 make me and you waka dey go our own”, he suggested. However, Iniye was not about to budge, as she intentionally drove past the nearest police station, towards the short cut that led to the front of the Lagos State  Secretariat.

She had barely pulled her key from the ignition, when a female LASTMA official roughly pulled her out from the car and dragged her. Apparently news of her bad behavior had angered the senior LASTMA officials who had summoned her, amidst clamour for her to be sent to jail for insubordination to a police officer, and her vehicle impounded indefinitely. All was in noise and sound, but Iniye, who looked as peaceful as she has ever been. Maybe jail was a relief from her life’s troubles, as she smiled in wry. If she had come out strong in her travails as a woman, how hard would dealing with the law, and this policeman? Her scowl was only visible when she thought about the horrible things she would do to the next person that would question her womanhood.

LADY IN WHITE

10 years after………………she invades my memory still.

I have always hated the dark. Right from my formative years, I had this misconception that ‘lights out’, equals demons in. By demons, I meant the creatures in the Nigerian movies I always watched; the celestial, white-clad, long nailed, blood-stained draculan teeth whose images eroded my dreams. These demons escaping the reality of any dreams and existing in the darkness of my awaken state, and left me frightened for life every second of the night I watched a Nigerian scary movie, and I was forced to watch the clock , anxiously waiting for the call to prayer bell rings by the Islamic clerics.

The night before, we were all gathered at the living room, to watch sins of the father, during the fortunate era of family appreciation. I could vividly remember my mother’s voice “Ola, a lot of people have seen this movie, and they all said it was a scary one. Are you sure you want to watch it? As much as I wanted to leave the living room, at that very moment, I didn’t want to be jeered at by my younger sister, who unlike me, derived joy in watching horror movies.” No mum, I’m fine” I replied. Sometimes I felt I had to embark on a major research to ascertain what made siblings thick and adorable. Having had a sibling for twenty of my twenty –five years on earth, I was as clueless as ever. A good number of people I knew, had tales of selfless siblings, who could not be traded, for anything in the world. On the other hand, I was stuck with an annoying sister, who always looked for the slightest opportunity to siphon the free –given air, I was entitled to. Sometimes I blamed Mom for punishing me with one sibling. At least if I had another, I would always send sister dearest to Coventry, without a return ticket. However, I couldn’t blame her for the untimely demise of my father.

The movie had started, and half way into the movie, the electricity went off. There and then, I knew there was no way I would sleep alone that night. At least, not after the gory image I last saw of a man in white, gorging the eyes of his very victim, in a very happy state. I shuddered at the imaginations of my subsequent nightmare. At that very moment, all I think of was white stripes, white and red; demons and blood. I knew I was next……………

……….Or so I thought, as I scrambled down the stairs, in my bid to outrun my sister, who in the dark, sought ways to frighten me more. The ruffles and tumbles played out for ten minutes, where cries for mum where futile, as she had long headed to the store-room to get some fuel for the generator. Finally, I was in a sty, cum dump yard, also known as Lotachi and Ola’s room. The fact that the plate Lotachi ate with three days ago, was fast  becoming an accessory to our bed sheets, or the stench of my damp clothes that oozed the room, did not faze me or get me worried, as I had long realized that the justification of God joining two unalike individuals as siblings, is their addiction for dump and dirt. My thoughts were filled with the images of the pleading victim on TV, and THE MAN. From the blues, I was engulfed with a feeling that I would be unlucky that night. To make matters worse, the fuel in the house had finished, and it was already 10.00 pm.,

……..And I saw her. It was barely three hours into my sleep, when she came. Certainly, I knew I would be visited by my dreamland creatures and by the events of the previous night, I only waited for the evil smile of Mr. Man, but the image I was confronted with, was not in the plot. Here was this beautiful extremely beautiful lady. If she was an earthly creature, she was most likely to win the Most Beautiful Girl in the World, year after year. In my mother’s era, she would be described as an “asampete”, in mine, the riverbank where beauties were stolen from. Dressed in an immaculate-white gown, that had stars, crystal and diadem as embodiments, she defined elegance. Her hair was thick, black and very full, flowing beautifully, like I would proudly wave my Barcelona flag at the games. Her thin lips were crimson red, likewise the side corners of her head. Her cheeks were in the mix of puffy and slim, the kind you were not disgusted about, yet not questionable as to whether they belonged to a human being or a skeleton; they were carved right. I had to think” my fair lady” was written specially for her, was she fair!  Her skin shone, like it was a combination of vanilla essence, mixed with pears baby oil, and cocoa butter, like it would melt away when the sun was out. Talk about a flawless belle, devoid of any make-up or enhancer. Her eyelashes perfectly stood out, like they were perfectly selected and they were nicely shaped, revealing perfect strands. It was almost as if I was a sleeping open eye, I was dead asleep to the world, but I found life and wake with this woman.  Her gown was adorned with little precious stones like diamonds, and as it swept the floor, it shimmered at every air breath. In my bid to assimilate her beauty, I beheld her face.

 Only the second glance at this almost- heavenly face, made me realize the reason for her presence. Her eyes were teary-like, as though a torrent was about to make a mighty downpour. Corroborating her sadness was a pair of appealing, straight lips, without happiness or cheer. How her hollow eyes pierced mine could not be explained, but when it did, the awaited tear dropped. She had an unspoken message for me. She had to warn me, because she loved me……..thereafter, she vanished…she was gone.  In my daze, I was oblivious that I was drenched in Ola’s pool of pee and soaked, a reminder that I was of planet earth. For the five minutes of my mirage, I belonged to her world and we were the only occupants. As I changed to another nightie, memories of every second of my encounter flooded my brain, like a sudden whirlwind in stillness. So mesmerizing was this event, that I forgot my phobia for the dark. I had to see her again; I had to ask her what she was afraid about. Suddenly I heard her call my name” Ola, Ola.....................

“Ola, are you angry I peed on you? Please don’t tell mummy. I promise I won’t tease you about Nigerian movies.” Totally unlike her. Totally unlike me too, as I hugged her and gave her a new pair of sheets to spread on the bed. Wasn’t this my long awaited chance, to capitalise on the hot spot i had gotten her in and use it to my advantage?  However, I had more pressings on my mind. For once, I looked forward to a dream. As I forced myself to sleep, I awaited her comeback, creating images of the prettiest faces in my sub conscious. Sadly, none of these faces came close to hers .Thereafter; I knew she wasn’t coming back...........................to be continued

UN-FREE

Ife looked at the birds that sat at the top of her Toyota Highlander, and today, she wasn’t angry that they had chosen to answer the call of nature on her newly acquired number. She studied their every move, as they excreted, and marveled at the fast pace they flew away afterwards, oblivious of the mess they had created. Particularly, she was fascinated about their freedom to take off  and leave the mess for someone else to clean up. She’d imagined that the birds probably flew away because they could not stand the smell of their excreta, and decided to take succor in nicer scented areas.

Everyone should be free like birds. No one should hold on to any problem, that would deter them from living, she thought, as she let out the tears that were begging to be released, and had already formed an excruciating  pain on her throat. She wept for Aunty Irene.

Everybody loved Aunty Irene. She was that beloved aunt that the children in Meadowhall Lekki Street preferred to their mothers; which was safe for the mothers, because they knew they could entrust them to her care, in their absence.  Aunty Irene was her mother’s only sister, and had come to live with the  Johnson family when her maternal grandmother passed away. Subsequently, Aunty Irene became her second mother, and filled in for mother dearest during open day sessions, career days, and other parents, especially as her parents both worked in banks that hardly spared time for other personal  activities. She was an only child, have would have been spoiled rotten, but for Aunt Irene that was there to put her in check.

It started when she turned eight.  As usual, her mother had travelled two days before, to Kano on an audit assignment, for Guaranty Trust Bank.  She had just finished her English homework, and gone through her notes with her dear Aunt. They both slept off in her room, after reading Enid Blyton's "Adventures of the Wishing Chair". Suddenly she heard a noise at the door, and afterwards, saw her dad come in to the room, staggering drunkenly towards her aunt’s position of the bed. In her sleeping open eyed state, she could hear voices. “Irene, come to bed with me, just this once……..just this once. Your sister Mabel doesn’t have to know”. She stiffened on the bed shut her eyes tighter, for fear of being caught listening. “Brother Tunde, e mi o le se. e mi o le se, e mi o le se ( I am not doing, I am not doing).”, she could hear her aunt, repeatedly. She squinted her eyes to get a  better position of her dad. She had never seen her dad appear needy before. He looked like his life depended on whatever Aunt Irene had to offer him. It was all new to her; Daddy should be with Mummy, not here. Finally, she slept off, after dwelling on the shock of watching her dad being pushed violently out of the door, by very her angry aunt. She never forgot that experience.

Subsequently, Daddy visited her bedroom frequently, at any chance he got, especially when Mum travelled, and for every time he came into her room, she made conscious efforts to catch glimpses of the moments. Many a time she promised herself she would report such incidence to her mum whenever she returned from her business trips, but the words never came out. As little as she was, she knew she had to tell it all to someone, but she couldn’t. For the life of all sincere, she wondered why her aunt could not speak up as well. Eventually, she came to the conclusion that Aunty Irene must be enjoying every bit of the weird “game”. Thereafter,she identified the need to be free like a bird, and for every time she yearned to be free, it always ended with an excruciating pain, stuck to her throat, that she couldn’t throw up or swallow.  Things were never going to be the same.

Was she right! On her 9^th birthday, Ife was particularly excited, because Aunt Irene was coming to pick her up from school, for the first time. Afterwards, they were scheduled to be on a flight to the beautiful city of Dubai, her very first overseas trip; her birthday gift for acing her grades in school. Mum had an earlier business to call to Rivers State, but this time, she couldn’t care less. In fact, her parents were permitted to miss all of her birthdays, if their presence was exchanged with such treats.  Not even the pain from stokes of cane lashed out by her headmistress, Mrs. Kalejaiye, for not paying attention during the Social Studies class, could kill her joy. She was all set for a birthday to remember.

Certainly, time must have stood still and disappeared for Ife, because by 4.00 pm, her aunt was nowhere in sight. Every student of Tender Hearts Academy, Lekki  had left the school premises, and the school was deserted, except for Mr.  Obi, the school bus driver for the Ajah  axis, who had just returned from dropping off students.  ‘Ife, you still dey here by this time? Why you no follow ya bus” He approached her on the reception platform. “Ngwa, let me take you home, pack ya things”, as if he read her mind.  She mumbled a “thank you” as she hurriedly jumped out of the school bus, running towards her aunt’s room, and the image she saw, was to be imprinted in her subconscious for years to come.  The door to her room was ajar, but she halted when she heard sounds of pleas and voices with forceful tones. “Brother Tunde, you can’t do this, you can’t possibly want to do this. I’ve been a helping hand to your family for years. I can’t hurt my sister. I’ve been quiet all this while. If you come any further, I’ll tell her everything. “.  Ife couldn’t move from her spot. She was frozen, like an ice ring, and jolted to reality when she heard her father’s voice” she wouldn’t mind, would she? Hasn’t she starved me enough? I need my sanity. Just this once, Irene, I beg you”. She had mustard enough courage to peep through the door, enough to see what she mistakenly came across  she accidentally opened a file marked ”xxx”, on her father’s phone. She heard Aunty Irene’s hollow cry of pain, and a mighty shove, and she ran out of the house.

That was ten years ago. Aunty Irene was never identified whole again. She was moved to the psychiatric hospital in Yaba, a broken woman. The clergy men left, so did renowned psychologists and trained shrinks, without finding a panacea for Aunty Irene’s medical condition. For the remainder of years, Aunt Irene had to deal with taking shots from the doctors, to be able to mumble decent words. She watched as her aunt dealt with pain, and how no one ever noticed, when she became hysterical anytime she saw her dad. Her mum had long quit her lucrative bank job to start  her fashion design business, amidst the accusations that she had used her sister for money rituals. She never got the chance to find a decent man that she could have children she had always loved, with. The children, she loved, and had given up her painful life for.

She looked at her car, and the mess, she had to clean up.  The mess had had nothing to do with the pile of shit that had formed a meal for a heap of smelly maggots. She had just received a call from her mother that Aunt Irene had passed away the night before, on an overdose of pills.  As she cried, the pains of yesteryears were regurgitated. If only she had opened her mouth, to tell a confidant what she has had to deal with. Who could she tell that her most beloved aunty died protecting her sister’s home, and had to offer her life to keep the home front all together?   She wiped the tears from her eyes, picked up a piece of rag from her bathroom  and headed towards the stairs to clean up her car. After all these years, she was finally ready to let the bird out of the cage. Call it damage control.