THE ICICLE

Seems like yesterday, when we first met. I remember how in the midst of drilling our bodies out in exercise, you bluntly asked where I lived. I starred you right in the face , wondering where and and how you acquired such effrontery.  You came right through me, amidst your sweaty and sweet smelling body (no paradox). I dismissed you immediately, but in my heart, you had formed a lasting impression. Unfortunately, after our first meet, you vanished, never to return to Leilas.  I looked out for you day after day, but you never came. At that juncture, I was rest assured that the gods of “ starcross” had decided our fate. But in my still moments, your image always resurfaced.  Against all odds, we met again, and it felt anew. This time, you asked for my digits and I punched into your phone, almost immediately. I had been dying to see you after our first meet, and from your facial expressions, I gathered that you were elated as well. It was a tad weird, but wedding bells were ringing in my head. At that moment, all I wanted to do was to get off my sweats and flirt provocatively in a pretty dress, all for you. You wanted the same too. We reconnected. It got magical………(to be continued)

DEAR BRIDE

Congratulations on your upcoming wedding. When you first told me, I was elated, like it was my very own big day. I pray for you dearest, that your life thereafter, would be as smooth sailing as you desire.
I felt shattered, when you told me that to be on your bridal train, it would cost me N40, 000. I mean,my Salary is just N50,000. Same money I would use to feed, pay my bills and give my parents stipends to support them. If I use all that for a dress of a day's event, how do I breathe, literally?
 Alternatively, I was told to buy a less expensive Asoebi of N30,000. I would hurt, regardless. How do I please you on your special day, and live, still? I tried explaining my predicament to you the best way I could, but you subtly put me in my place. I tried chatting you afterwards, but I realised you blocked my number from Whatsapp, deleted me from Blackberry Messenger, and stopped taking my calls. Do you know I got broken afterwards? We have been there for each other, through thick and thin. We don't need expensive apparels to define our friendship. How do I tell you I miss you, when I can't reach you? Our laughter, our cheer, our words of encouragement to each other? Now our bond has been broken. Over what, an apparel? Really?
I hope to see you smile, as you walk down the aisle, with your beau. I want to be there to hold you, when you accidentally trip from those high  stilettos, as you usually do, lol. I want to be there to wish you well, physically. Don't wanna be a bridesmaid or in your committee of friends. I want to be your friend.

I bleed easily,


Me.

WHEN PERSISTENCE MET RESISITANCE

So I was going to work, the other day. One of the beauties of the public transportation system in Nigeria, as against driving on your own, is that you always have a new experience. Could be the stranger beside you, or the driver of the bus, or the bus conductor, you just never know what to expect. So I boarded the bus from Leventis (Maryland) to Opebi Allen, to work. Normally, it would cost about a hundred naira to get me to work, but I assumed the bus conductor would charge fifty naira, since my stop was only half the journey to Allen. Typically, I get away with paying fifty naira with the "puppy look" (y'all know that look that makes you surrender to the pleadings of the other party sha, lol). But this time, I no know say na mad people I dey deal with. Halfway into the journey, when I was requested to pay my fare, I gave the conductor fifty naira o, and I insisted that it was the only amount from me (big lie from the pit of hell). Omo, the guy threw the money at me o, and actually said I was mad, because at my pick up point, he actually said the right fare amount, but as typical naija sharp babe, I turn deaf o. The bus conductor and the driver kept ranting, but I turned deaf areas. No way was I going to part with an extra fifty naira, it made no sense to me.Already, tension was brewing in the bus. The other passengers on the bus kept pressing me to budge, but lai lai, I no gree o. I kept pressing on, hell bent on sticking to my guns. We got to my stop, and I made moves to come down, again handing him the money. He said I wasn't serious, and pushed me back to the bus. To be honest, I was tempted to give him the money at the stop, but the moment he bypassed it, I kept the extra fifty naira in my pocket. I wasn't looking at the time at the time anymore, but at that time, I cared less if I was late or not. I mean, these guys just woke up the dragon in me. Na so these yeye pple carry me, pass junction, pass salvation, dem come pity me, drop me for Chicken Republic, by the link road (you can imagine the distance from my original stop). Na so I jump out o, amidst cries of " where is your money, dis lady come back pay your money". I jumped down and didn't look back. To these guys, they were successful in ruining my day, but in reality, they got served. Dem no know say na cele dem carry for bus. Na so I waka o, from Opebi link road, to my office in COSON (about 20 mins from where I was stopped). I fumed all through, because I didn't plan the journey, and didn't want to go to work all sweaty. But inwards, I was happy I didn't budge. Not only did I get a little cardio, I ended up paying nothing.(sharp girl, lol). OK, so not the best of illustrations to buttress my core idea and my headline, but point is not to give up, in any given situation, especially when it's a sales call. Your persistence should match your client's resistance, because boy!, they will resist. Have that at the back of your mind and push, and push, till they budge, and trust me, you will be better off for it. That,s how successful sales execs, business men and entrepreneurs are made. Nuff said. Bye

YEAR OLDER, YEAR WISER

Hello world, been a minute. So I was a year older recently. Typically, birthdays are reflection points and that one day that we take stock and re-evaluate our selves, you know, adding new goals, replacing old habits and take over the world......for one day. I didn't do any of that. For me, re-evaluation is a daily core. But I came up with something different, and God willing, I think I am going to stick to this plot. I  am going to be more appreciative of people's assistance to me, appreciate people that truly care, and purge out people that don't. At first I thought it was selfish, reciprocating affection and gratitude, but  don't they say that  you close up your inner circle as you grow older? On a brighter note, I think It would be a positive. It means I'll love harder., be more selfless and put in a lot of work, to be good to the ones that stick their necks out, because sometimes in the bid to please people that don't really care, we fail to appreciate the ones that are worth the hassle. Don't get me wrong, I try to be selfless, the best way I can, but I am a bloody realist (excuse my French), and times and experience have taught me that some people would never appreciate you, even if you took a grenade for them. So here's to living, for me.xxxxxxxxx

CHOOSING YOUR CAREER PATH

Ask a young,recent Nigerian graduate what his next plans are, and his typical response would be “I want a job”, expecting that you wouldn’t fault his reply. It is for this singular reason, that the Nigerian employment market has an influx of frustrated charlatans, that take up job opportunities, without due consideration. In most cases, they become “square pegs in round holes”, because they do not fit into their designated roles. As a result, a typical Nigerian worker is disgruntled and dissatisfied with work. Sadly, there is no end in sight to this trend.

There is a way out, and this is where choosing the right career path comes in. Innate in every individual, are unique skills and abilities that are God-given. Most times, such skills are left untapped and leave us no option, but to settle with the available. There are two ways to choosing your career path:
Choosing a vocation you are passionate about.

Finding purpose and joy in a vocation you are not passionate about.

For the purpose of this article, emphasis would be laid on choosing a vocation you are passionate about. The following tips would be helpful in that regard:

Find your flair: Finding your flair is one of the challenging parts of choosing your career path. Most people feel that they do not have a unique skillset, but the truth is that everyone does. Talking in itself is a skillset, hence the need for a career in journalism. Google, take ability tests read and discover what you love doing the most, no matter how insignificant it is. Career advisors and councellors usually administer tests, to place people in their right paths. Take charge and pay a visit to them, to tow the right line.

 Develop your flair: For example, your innate skills can be baking, sewing, cooking, teaching or running. Developing such skills at the inception, would propel you for greatness in the future. You might not develop an immediate career from it, but you can nurture and make it grow, till it develops into a career.

Start Small- We all expect to earn millions at the first attempt of our career, but there are immense joys in humble beginnings. Have a mindset that things will not go smoothly, in the beginning, but great oaks grow from little acorns. Have a goal plan, so that when you start small, the end result is finishing big.

Stick to your career path: There is that fear that not everyone will agree with your career decision. Your flair, to an outsider may seem a waste, and people you know and love, might question your motives. However, this should not derail you. You have to beat the odds, for one major reason: you love what you do. Do not let anyone put you down or discourage you from choosing your career path, because with time, it would become clearer. Develop a thick skin and be hell bent on pursuing your flair, and become so great at what you do, that you prove your antagonists wrong.

Seek Mentorship: Take advice from people that have excelled in your chosen area. It might be people you know, it might be people you don’t. if there are painters, cooks, artistes, teachers or any profession of your choice, seek them, either face to face of any form of connecting medium and connect with them. Ask them how they overcame adversity and became successful and follow their cue.

By learning how to research options, realise your strengths, develop your skills and making a needed change, you can discover the right career path for you,regardless  of the fact that you’re just leaving school, finding opportunities limited in your current position or, like many in this harsh economy, facing unemployment.

THE PERKS OF RELATIONSHIP MANAGEMENT

With the current economic decline presently in the country, most organisations are unwilling to part with their limited resources, unless a dire need arises, regardless of the fact that such exchange would increase yields and business opportunities for them. Potential investors in the Nigerian market have held back their funds to develop the Nigerian economy, partly because they are uncertain about the business environment in the country, and on the other part, they do not have credible information about the viability of the sector they choose to invest in. It would be safe to say that business entailing one time exchange, from a typical business to a client, is quite challenging. Today, most organisations are seeking more than one time transactions with customers. For this reason, there has been a major focus on market-driven organisations, towards developing and sustaining relationships, rather than focusing on aggressive sales and marketing. An emphasis on the former,” involves creating, maintaining and enhancing long-term relationships with customers and corporate organisations, for mutual benefit” (Belch and Belch, 2001).

Without doubt, the current emphasis in many markets is on developing mutually beneficial relationships. Before an organisation releases funds for a particular project, the first consideration would be “what is in it for me?". In most cases, that question might be difficult to answer by an amateur sales rookie, that is only interested in meeting a sales target or earning a commission. It would be answered by a needs identifier and solutions provider, better put, a relationship manager. The purpose of this write up is not to highlight the reasons for relationship management, but its perks. 

Most organisations desire personalized products and services that are tailored to their unique needs and wants. A case in point, an organization would seek an appraisal system that is peculiar to its organisation’s make-up. An individual that has a personal understanding of such organization, through research and analysis, stands a better chance of appealing to the organization, than someone whose interest is to make sales alone. With personalised client relationships, you can learn firsthand what your organization needs, and what needs solution would best suit the growth and development of their businesses, rather than selling just any type of product having taken into cognizance the history, composition, strengths and weaknesses of the organisation.

In addition, you are not just a beneficiary to the immediate satisfaction of the organisation’s need, you are accrued more benefits from the organization. For example, if you are an effective relationship manager providing a need, even where such needs are not immediate, you might be called upon to perform other tasks that could also be beneficial to you. There might be vacancies in the organization that need to be filled. Because of your evident interest in the organisation, you might be considered, or someone you recommend. Many organisations have successfully poached sales and business development executives that have been identified as needs solutions provider. This is because of their consistence over time, in proffering needs solution that have improved their businesses, and they firmly believe that where such sales people are in their payroll systems, such solutions would be replicated directly to the organisation.

Furthermore, you are making long lasting acquaintances and friendships that would last a lifetime. Most sales personnel hardly fraternize with their colleagues, because they are busy building relationships with their clients. In most cases, such clients become acquaintances. They tend to build solid friendships with them that would also open doors for them in their businesses.  Many sales people have married their clients, become best friends and acted as counselors to their clients. As long as boundaries are respected, you should be able to have nice personal and professional relationships with your clients, which is very good for business.

The benefits derived from relationship management cannot be exhausted. Sales and business development departments in organisations are focusing more on relationship management, because studies have shown that strengthening relationships by 5% can increase future profit by as much as 30-90% (Kotler, 2001). It is sufficed to say that relationship management would not only guarantee immediate sales, but would also provide long lasting ties between an organization and its clientele.

ABOUT ME

Dinma Caruso is a graduate of Mass Communication and holds a Master’s Degree in International Human Resources.  In her spare, she loves to read and write, and has a blog. www.dinmacaruso.blogspot.com.

THE UNVERIFIED VERSION

Yagazie, Yagazie nwa….ndi ogo a bia go, our in-laws have come”,Mrs  Adichie exclaimed in ecstasy , as she ran into  the bride’s dressing room, where her only  daughter was being decorated in Uli, by the Umu-Ada of her clan. Akpo town was preparing to join in marriage her children, Yagazie the town’s undisputable paragon of indescribable beauty, and Uchedo, the most eligible divorcee in the town,  and the town was agog with festivities, for the big day. It was unthinkable for anyone that missed out on Uchedo’s first wedding, to miss his second, as there was a guaranteed overflow of food and drinks, and judging by the huge crowd in the Adichie’s compound, the number was thrice the first. Everyone was in high spirits, everyone except Yagazie.

“Achalugo’m”, her mother fondly called” what’s wrong? Why aren’t you cheerful?” she inquired, as she removed a strand of hair, from her first outing apparel,  a creamed-lace boob gown, that was heavily accentuated with red, native coral bead necklaces.  Yagazie had a rather forlorn look on her face.

“Mama, how can I be happy, when Mmesoma is not here. We promised to be there for each other on our big day, and she backs off, all of a sudden. How can I be happy, Nne?  Mmesomma, Yagazie’s best friend of twenty years was evidently absent, as she could not feign her disapproval of her friend’s rushed engagement and marriage to a divorcee, without carrying out due diligence on her intended groom.

“So you choose today of all days, to gloat over a friend that is obviously jealous of your union? Over Mmesomma who has been single since we have known her? You better wipe your face and prepare to meet your husband”.

On an ending note, she walked out of the room, to the disappointment of the eavesdropping set of the women in the room, who listened more to the mother-daughter conversation, than they were decorating.

Maybe mama is right, Yagazie thought, as she looked at the mirror opposite her, in admiration of her transformed "Igba Nkwu” look. Mmesomma always had a penchant for spewing negativity about the men in her life, including Yagazie’s. Okey was too opinionated, Chukwuma was a male chauvinist and Ikenna was a mama’s boy. However, all her comments put together, were not as aggravating as her reservations about Uchedo.

“Yagazie, a divorcee? Do you know what happened to his ex-wife?”

“Mmemme, he filed for divorce. He said she cheated on her. His family corroborated the same story and I am inclined to believe them. Besides, I have carried out my investigations. Uchedo bu ezigbo nwoke.

“I ju go nwunye ya? Have you asked his ex to verify her version? If you claim he’s a good guy, how come she left her marriage, in just three years? A ko kwa na.

“I don’t need to find out anything about his ex, because she would always come to her defence. I trust Uchedo. We have prayed on this, and have consulted our spiritual leaders and councellors.  Uchedo is my destined husband.”

“Bia nne, there’s no such thing as "a destined husband". You better snap out of it. Uchedo has probably bribed his way out of serious probing. You can rule me out of your marriage preparations, and any form of support”.

Those were Mmesoma’s last words, before she stormed out of Yagazie’s house. A month later, the silence between them, was still resounding.

Yagazie was not going to let Mmesomma’s absence spoil her shine. She would marry Uchedo Diobi, and they will live forever, until Mmesomma eventually died of jealousy. As their union was sealed with the exchange of palmwine, she smiled in victory, at her won conquest. Mmesomma can finally be laid to rest.

As she drove to Enugu, with Uchedo, she envisaged what their wedding night would be like, and how she would apply all the read tricks and the unimaginable sex positions suggested by her mother.  However, lying critically in the hospital bed, on her wedding night was not in the plot.  Matter of fact, she did not remember how that night went, but she remembered serving Uchedo an overheated plate of Eba and Egusi, and the counter arguments that ensued, as to why the food was not served warm. This was surprising, because Uchedo had always requested that his food be served piping hot.  Uchedo questioned her for challenging his manhood and talking back at him, and in the fit of anger, gave her a deadly blow on her eye. On her wedding night, Yagazie became a one eyed damsel.